Haunted
by XEdwardXxXLoverX
Summary: song oneshot. Set during the darkest hours for Bella in New Moon. She wasn't able to deal with the pain of losing Edward anymore. R&R! song used Kelly Clarkson - Haunted...I do not own it!


**A/N: this is my first ever fanfic...i dont think it is all that good, but i did my best and am very happy with it!**

**disclaimer: I OWN ALL!! not really, Stephenie Meyer does. pouts  
**

_Louder, louder  
The voices in my head  
Whispers taunting  
All the things you said  
faster the days go by and I'm still  
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here  
_

He told me he didn't love me…I constantly, and reluctantly remind myself this. I didn't deserve his love. I never deserved him. I guess he finally got tired of me. It has been 2 months and I still haven't forgotten that horrible day in the woods

_Time  
In the blink of an eye  
You held my hand, you held me tight  
Now you're gone  
And I'm still crying  
Shocked, broken  
I'm dying inside_

I still remember everything about him. The way his arms felt around me, the way his lips felt on mine. I dream about that fateful day. I sit here on my bed, with my legs pushed up against my chest. My arms wrapped around them. I have been sitting like this for too long. My legs desperately need to stretch, but it's as if nothing matters anymore.

_Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

I feel as if there is no point to living anymore. I have been thinking like this ever since he left. I have wanted to grab a knife and jam it into my heart to stop the pain. I want to cut open the hole that he created. I want to end it all.

_Shadows linger  
Only to my eye  
I see you, I feel you  
Don't leave my side  
It's not fair  
Just when I found my world  
They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart_

I closed my eyes, and I immediately regretted it. I saw him. He was looking at me and was smiling my favorite smile. His beautiful liquid topaz eyes were glaring at me. Then he started walking away from me. I wanted to open my eyes, and end this, but I couldn't. I didn't want to loose him again.

_I miss you, you hurt me  
You left with a smile  
Mistaken, your sadness  
Was hiding inside  
Now all that's left  
Are the pieces to find  
The mystery you kept  
The soul behind a guise  
_

I quickly open my eyes and ran down the stairs. Surprisingly I didn't trip on my way down. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife I could grab. Then I reached over and grabbed a pen and paper. I slowly made my way back upstairs and wrote Charlie a note.

_**Dear Charlie,**_

_**I am sorry about this, about everything. I can't take the pain anymore. I don't want to be a burden to you or Renee. I love you so much, but I can't live like this.**_

_**I will always love you,**_

_**Bella**_

_  
Where are you  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

I sat back down on the bed. In my hand was the knife, it was taunting me. It wanted me to do it. I wanted to do it. I angled the knife at my heart. I was about to push it in when I heard somebody scream something. I lowered the knife down away from my chest and onto my lap. I knew the scream wasn't from me; I hadn't done anything to cause me to scream. The voice i heard was familiar...but i instantly surpressed the thought and returned to the matter at hand. I was raising the knife back to my chest when something cold and hard grabbed onto my wrist and took it out of my hands.

_Why did you go?  
All these questions run through my mind  
I wish I couldn't feel at all  
Let me be numb  
I'm starting to fall_

I looked up and more tears began to come out my eyes. I saw him, he was looking down on me. His eyes were full of pain, hurt, worry, and the feeling that was most evident was horror. I quickly looked down. I didn't want to see him, I didn't deserve him.

_Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

"Bella, Bella what were you thinking?" he brought his lips down to mine. He quickly pulled back. "Bella, you promised not to do anything reckless. How could you try to do something like this? Why Bella?" his anger was seeping through. It wasn't his fault that he didn't love me. I should have known that he was just using me.

"I just couldn't…deal anymore. There is nothing worth living for. Nobody loves me…the person I gave my heart out to smashed it into a million pieces and left me alone." I kept my eyes on the ground as I said this. I didn't want to look at his face. I didn't want to see his eyes. He brought his fingers to my chin and lifted my face to his. I can't believe the amount of hurt and regret I saw on his face.

"Bella, I love you so much. Bella I'm so sorry. I left so you could live a normal human life. I wanted you to be safe. If I knew this is what would happen I would have never left. Bella I love you with all my heart and I will understand if you never want to see me again."

As soon as he was done talking I crashed my lips to his and I never wanted to let go. I loved him so much, I missed him. He eagerly returned it. When he finally pulled away from me, I brought my face to his chest and started sobbing into his chest. "I- I m- m- missed you s-so much."

"I know, I couldn't live another day without you love."

_Where are you?  
Where are you?_

_You were smiling_


End file.
